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Literary Pe(s)ts

April 8, 2016

Writers tend to have lots of pets. We write, we revise, we adopt a cat, we write some more, we start feeding a hobo kitty, we revise, we coax the hobo kitty in, we write, we take a break to watch YouTube videos of animals, we start thinking about how great dogs are. . .

I don’t know why this is. But the general equation is Writer = Too Many Pets.

As much as we writers love our many pets, and even though they love us back (the dogs do, at least), I want us to understand one thing: they do NOT care about our hopes and dreams. At all. Our ARCs are there to be eaten. Our computer is a heating pad. Our notes are a cat bed. Deleting things is fun. Computer cords are delicious.

And here is the evidence, courtesy of my writing comrades who were kind enough to send a photo for posting:

 

ellatoys

“Human, stop writing and check out all my toys!”

Ella’s human, Elizabeth Briggs, is a young adult writer whose debut, FUTURE SHOCK, is now available (as of April 1st!) from Aw Teen. Follow Elizabeth on Twitter or add her book to your Goodreads list.

 

"Laptops make the best pillows."

“Laptops make the best pillows.”

Louis’s owner, Abby Cooper, is a writer of middle grade fiction. Her debut, STICKS AND STONES, will be released by Farrar, Straus and Giroux on July 19, 2016. Follow Abby on Twitter or add her book to your Goodreads list.

"Human, there's a typo on page 87."

“Human, there’s a typo on page 87.”

Pancake’s owner, Kathy MacMillan, penned a young adult fantasy, SWORD AND VERSE, available now from HarperTeen. Follow Kathy on Twitter or add her book to your Goodreads list.

"But what about ME?"

“But what about ME?”

This fuzzy critter is catered to by Dana Elmendorf, whose debut young adult contemporary novel, SOUTH OF SUNSHINE, is available NOW from Albert Whitman & Co. Follow Dana on Twitter or add her book to your Goodreads list.

"If I sit where the laptop goes, you pay attention to ME. Capisce?"

“If I sit where the laptop goes, you pay attention to ME. Capisce?”

Margot Harrison, the owner of this fuzzy creature, is a young adult writer whose debut, THE KILER IN ME, will be released by Disney-Hyperion on July 12, 2016. Follow Margot on Twitter or add her thriller to your Goodreads list.

"Thanks for starting the book; I can take it from here."

“Thanks for starting the book; I can take it from here.”

Huntley’s owner, Kate Pawson Studer, is a freelance editor and author of young adult fiction. She is represented by The Stringer Literary Agency. Follow Kate on Twitter.

"Delete, delete, delete. . ."

“Delete, delete, delete. . .”

Pancakes’s human, Sarah Schauerte Reida, will debut in September of 2016 with MONSTERVILLE: A LISSA BLACK PRODUCTION (Sky Pony). Twitter stalk Sarah here, or add her middle grade novel to your Goodreads list.

"I iz invisible."

“I iz invisible.”

Phineas’s owner, Bethany Morrow, will debut with Month9Books in September of 2016. Follow her on Twitter or add her young adult book, THE LAST LIFE OF THE AVRILS, to your Goodreads list.

"You give me tuna, I give you pee-free ARCs."

“You give me tuna, I give you pee-free ARCs.”

Claire Fayers, who received her ARCs unharmed, is a writer of middle grade fiction and represented by The Bent Agency. Her debut, THE VOYAGE TO MAGICAL NORTH, will be published by Henry Holt and Co. on July 5, 2016. You can follow Claire on Twitter or add her fantasy to your Goodreads list.

"Stop writing and walk me yet again, or I'll keep making my I've-been-beaten face."

“Stop writing and walk me yet again, or I’ll keep making my I’ve-been-beaten face.”

Archer’s owner, Sarah, is the author of this post and is adding more pictures of her own because she has SO MANY pets! Archer is a Pit/Lab rescue who is treated like a child. It is kind of disturbing.

"At least we're spending time with you, Human."

“At least we’re spending time with you, Human.”

These little monsters are ALSO owned by Sarah, but these two are accidental – Knope came from a foster organization that last followed up on him two years ago; and Howie was rescued just in time from Animal Control.

*Sarah Schauerte is a writer of middle grade books, whose website, http://www.lissablackproductions, tests knowledge of movie trivia and educates on the world of film-making. A huge fan of Halloween, it is only fitting that her debut is MONSTERVILLE: A LISSA BLACK PRODUCTION. Follow her on Twitter here.

MONSTERVILLE finAL

MONSTERVILLE is JUMANJI meets GOONIES, a fast-paced adventure where board games come alive and winning your life depends on applying monster movie rules of survival. 12-year-old film-obsessed Lissa discovers a shape-shifting monster in her woods and decides to film the greatest horror movie of all time…until her little sister is kidnapped to the monster homeland of Down Below and she needs her star’s help to rescue her.

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